Rise From the Ashes

The legend of the phoenix can actually be found in several belief systems. It can be traced back to ancient Egypt, when it was then known as “Bennu” or Bynw”, a symbol of the sun god, Osiris. Osiris was resurrected to life from serving as ruler of the underworld.

Whether this mystical bird is attributed to the Chinese “Feng-huang”, the Jewish “Milcham” or even an emblem of Christ, the legend remains the same…

After serving its life cycle, the phoenix builds a nest and then by the sun and the friction of its own wings, is consumed by fire. It is inevitably reborn from the very ashes. The phoenix is therefore symbolic of resurrection, immortality, and my personal favourite - triumph over adversity.

I has been said repeatedly that there are two types of people in this world: “marathoners” and “sprinters”. Both are ambitious at heart. They set a goal and will pursue it zealously. The only difference is that a sprinter expects to see immediate results and if they do not receive those results, they may get discouraged and give up all together. A marathoner, on the other hand, can get side-tracked, knocked down, and trampled on but will refocus and redirect when necessary in order to meet their ultimate goal.

For example, a woman who had planned to lose 30 pounds in three months may be disappointed upon realizing that after the first month, she has only lost six. She had obviously expected to see faster results. But if that same woman takes into consideration that she is more toned or has more stamina, she may alter her end goal. She may decide “I want to go down a few dress sizes”, or “I want to be able to incorporate fitness and nutrition into my lifestyle permanently.” Along the way, she may miss a few morning jogs or go off her so-called diet, but above all, she is patient with herself and does not give up.

Patience is essential. It’s important to accept that results are not always immediate. Sometimes, they aren’t even tangible. But by just going through the necessary steps, you are on your way, whether you realize it or not. Afterall, the journey of 1000 miles begins with one step. By altering your original goal, you have not fallen short. You have simply become aware enough to realize when and how to strategize.

It was Benjamin Franklin who said, “Some people die at twenty-five and aren’t buried until they are seventy-five”. Some of us passively sit back and watch the rest of life go on because we feel we have had too many set-backs or let-downs to further pursue our dreams. Our patience has run out.

Each and every one of us knows what it's like to get side-tracked, feel knocked down, and even trampled upon by others.  Will you fall back when it comes to your current goals or will you RISE UP more determined to succeed than ever?

Pass It On: On Children

By:  Kahlil Gibran

[An excerpt from The Prophet"]

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Detox Teas: Are They Helpful For Detoxification?

With more and more people putting more concern on their health and wellness, detoxification products such as detox teas are becoming all the more popular.

Why Detoxify? The human body is created with its own detoxification system, which includes the skin, liver, kidney and the colon. The liver and the kidney filter out the toxins in the body which goes out through the urinary system, the digestive system or as sweat through the skin. The body's waste management system works well under normal circumstances, but given today's fast paced lifestyle and extensive exposure to waste and toxins, the body can only deal with so much. This brings us to the need to detoxify, or cleanse the body and get rid of toxins and waste.

Detox Teas Help Detoxification There are plenty of ways to detoxify the body and detox teas are just one of them. Regular consumption of these detoxification teas produce a number of positive effects on the body, and these include:

1.Healthier Organs. Drinking this types of tea help speed up the detoxification process, which lessens the pressure and the load on the liver, kidney and the colon. This, in turn, reduces conditions such as acne, bloating, indigestion, menstrual problems and other organ-related problems.

2.Better Bowel Movement. These teas wash away plaque and waste formation on the colon, making bowel movement easier. This also aids in the reduction of water retention and better weight loss results.

3.Better Skin and Hair. A body that is full of toxins manifests itself in numerous ways such as acne in the skin or brittle nails and hair. Drinking detox teas can help balance the body's system, and clears out the skin making you look better and giving you that overall glow.

4.Calm and Relaxation. These teas do not only detoxify the body and cleanse it, but also give you a feeling of calm and relaxation. This is very helpful especially if you are always stressed out.

Detox Teas To Use Choosing detox teas isn't really difficult as there are plenty of flavors and varieties in the market. Some types of herbal teas include green tea, ginger tea, chamomile tea, peppermint tea and Hawthorne berry tea. Each of these teas has its own distinct taste and has varying effects on the body, which is great considering the fact that you can try each of them for the purpose of variety.

If you're thinking of trying detox teas to cleanse the body, start with one variety first and drink just one cup a day. This is crucial so that you can see its effects on the body. When you have finally settled with a tea that you like, you can eventually amp up your intake to at least two to three cups. Drinking three cups is the maximum for herbal teas, so make sure that you do not go beyond that.

To make sure that your detoxification is a success, drink detox teas along with a healthy and sensible diet to make sure that you get the best effects of the cleansing and detox process.


About The Author

Kate Adams has spent the last five years learning all the inside secrets to improving her own health and well-being. To learn more information on detox teas. visit her website at http://www.detoxdiethq.com/detox-teas/.

Do You Need a Vision Board?

According to Wikipedia, "A vision board, also called a dream boards, mind map or goal map, is typically a poster board on which people draw, paste or collage images that represent their desires, objectives, dreams and goals. The intent is that vision boards be reviewed regularly to maintain focus on the depicted goals. Some users believe that regular use of focus boards also attracts superconscious aid via the Law of Attraction."

The Secret, a theory which attributes personal success to "positive thinking" and "the law of attraction" as a daily practice, is a driving force behind the recent popularity of the vision board. After all, the law of attraction is that our thinking creates and brings to us whatever we think about," When we keep our goals in clear view, they are forever on our mind.

My own vision board consists of fitness goals (my ideal body type), relationship goals (closeness/happiness with friends, family, and coworkers), as well as my ideal home office, living room, car, etc.

Creating a vision board is easy as well as fun. Simply select images and words/phrases from magazines that appeal to you. Cut them out and ask yourself the personal significance of each image (What attracted me to this image? What does it represent?). Choose your favourite cut-outs and paste them onto a board (bristol board works best). Place your newly created vision board in an area of your home or office visible enough to look at and "take in" every day.

Happy crafting!

The Evils of Caffeine

 
Charles Czeisler, a neuroscientist and sleep expert from Harvard Medical School explains: “When the nature of work changed from a schedule built around the sun to an indoor job timed by a clock, humans had to adapt. The widespread use of caffeinated food and drink—in combination with the invention of electric light—allowed people to cope with a work schedule set by the clock, not by daylight or the natural sleep cycle.” In addition, scientific studies have shown that the power boost of caffeine is connected with its interference with adenosine – a chemical in our bodies, which has hypnotic effect and works as a natural sleeping pill. Caffeine actually ceases adenosine and in this way our alertness gets increased and our sleep habits are disrupted. As we all know, there’s no such thing as a free lunch and we pay for this extra wakefulness.

Health concerns:

Experts from the FDA claim that our health is in danger as long as the consumption remains between 200 mg to 300 mg of caffeine per day, which is equal to around two or three cups of coffee. They also say that caffeine contains components such as Niacin, Magnesium and Potassium, which play a vital role for our health: Potassium is essential for nerves function, Magnesium is of importance in our bones and teeth and Niacin aids in the metabolism of sugars and has an essential role for the proper function of intestines. If consumed moderately, caffeine acts as an anti-oxidant, sucking up free radicals. Unfortunately, the refreshing effects of caffeine urge us to constantly increase consumption in order to eliminate brain fog and fatigue.

Caffeine is an addictive drug, which alters our brain’s natural state and stimulates it in a manner similar to mechanisms employed by cocaine and heroin: it provokes a release of adrenalin, so that the body remains active and alert. It also manipulates dopamine production and that’s how we experience temporary high levels of energy; our productivity improves and we become more coordinated. Caffeine affects our whole body, stimulating the cardiovascular system, raising our blood pressure and heart rate. This process speeds up our basal metabolic rate and we burn more calories. As a result we obtain a wakeup jolt, because caffeine evokes a stress response in our adrenal hormones, the so called “fight-or-flight” response. This is how our body prepares for action and remains in the state of alertness, no matter if we are sitting on our desks, or reading our newspaper on the sofa. When stress hormones remain elevated for long periods of time, our bodies experience chronic stress, which provokes exhaustion and craving for the next sip of coffee, coke or soda.

Exactly how caffeine affects us depends on many factors, including the amount ingested, our individual peculiarities (sex, weight and height, age) and whether we are smokers or non-smokers. Studies show that some people are more sensitive to its effects than others. However, when consumed frequently our body develops tolerance to caffeine and this represents a significant health risk. At doses of 600 mg, or 6 cups of coffee, caffeine can lead to:

- Restlessness and anxiety
- Heartburn – caffeine is alkaline, which spurs the stomach to react by dumping more hydrochloric acid as a neuralizer

- Severe headaches and sweating
- High blood pressure
- Heart problems and rapid palpitations

- Nausea
- Muscle stiffness – caffeine increases the loss of calcium and magnesium, which has a negative impact on muscle tissues, impeding their relaxation mechanism.

- Withdrawal symptoms may also occur, even when moderate amounts of caffeine are withdrawn for 18 to 48 hours. One may feel severe exhaustion, depression and poor concentration.

Strategies for reduction of caffeine intake and tips to give it up completely:

In order to gradually reduce the amount of caffeine intake a good tactic is to reduce the number of coffee cups by one every week (For example: 4 cups a day in the first week, 3 in the second, 2 in the third, 1 in the fourth). In this way the withdrawal symptoms will be much less severe.

Another strategy which can help our body get rid of caffeine addiction is to use less coffee. Every morning we should use put less teaspoons of coffee into our coffee machine, until it is so weak that we can live without it.

We can also switch to tea, as it has lower amounts of caffeine. Every day we can switch over one of our coffee breaks to tea. Once we achieve a successful transition to tea, we should repeat the process to transition to caffeine-free tea.

Sleep is a very important natural source of energy and that’s why we need to ensure a quality and regular sleep while we are transitioning to our caffeine-free state.

In addition we could include morning aerobic exercise, like cycling or running. This will make us feel full of energy, because sport unlocks the production of endorphins (one of the hormones of happiness) and we will be able to start our day on a natural high.

We also have to make sure that we don’t lose our connection with nature. In fact, many people suffer from depression because of the unnatural life our modern society leads us into. Thus, make it a ritual to go outside and deep breathe fresh air in the morning.

Change your diet. Drink orange Juice, or eat fresh fruits in order to nourish your body with vitamin C. Coffee is a habit. Replace it with a small glass of fresh pressed orange juice. Have a grain or oats based breakfast (with a low glycemic index). It will keep your brain nourished all morning. Avoid sugary breakfasts like donuts or high sugar cakes or muffins. They lead to a rapid buildup and slump in our blood sugar levels. Also, have an afternoon snack. Keep an apple or banana or a handful of cashew nuts ready for the mid-afternoon snack time instead of coffee. Finally, drink more water: carry a water bottle around and take sips regularly.

Source:   Nikoletta Ven for ArticleCity.com

Pass It On: Footprints

One night a man had a dream.

He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.

Each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand;

one belonging to him, and the other belonging to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,

he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of

footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his

life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the

way.

But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life,

there is only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied: "My precious, precious child,

I love you and I would never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffering,

when you see only one set of footprints,

it was then that I carried you."

Source:  Unknown (Author of poem in dispute)

Denman Brush vs. Tangle Teezer

Question:
Sometimes I find that I cannot get all of the dust out of my daughter's hair by washing and combing through with a wide tooth comb. I am thinking that a brush would be good for this purpose, but I am not sure which brush will do the least damage to her hair....can you recommend anything?


Answer:

I've used the Denman D3 (with 3 rows removed) and the Tangle Teezer on my 5-year-old, who has 4B hair. The Tangle Teezer detangles faster than the Denman and seems to take the lint out more. The bristles on it are much shorter and closer together.

I try to work in small sections when detangling... I get less complaints from her when I use the Tangle Teezer, pain wise. I'm also worried about breakage so will probably continue to use it a couple of times a month until I start to see early signs of breakage or split ends.

Quick Meal: Funky Monkey Smoothie

The funky monkey is an easy-to-make smoothie that contians a full serving of dairy and fruit. With its chocolate taste, kids love it.  Here is a low-sugar version that is great for a breakfast/lunch replacement or as a pre/post work-out snack.

Ingredients:

~ 2 cups of chocolate almond milk OR milk with a couple scoops of cocoa powder
~ 3 tablespoons of plain yogurt
~ 1 1/2 tablespoons of unsweetened, shredded coconut
~ 1 ripe banana
~ 1/2 a cup of ice


Directions:

Blend and enjoy!  (Makes 2 servings.)

Thinking about Going Natural? [The Big Chop]

According to the Urban Dictionary, the "big chop" is defined as:  "When a person cuts their hair to obtain the 'natural' state. The person cuts out the hair dye, chemical perm, or relaxer from their hair."

With the rise of African-American women sporting their natural hair and the boom of natural hair-centered products and accessories, some women who would have never considered going natural are currently giving it a thought.  It's becoming more common, more accepted, and there are now many resources (videos/tutorials, websites, books) focusing on how to care for and style natural hair.

Still, many women hesitate to big chop (BC) because they do not like the idea of cutting of the relaxed and/or long hair they've grown accustomed to.

Here is my experience - a survey done shortly afted I big chopped...

*When did you do the Big Chop?

February 14, 2010.

*Have you ever had hair this short? If not, how does it affect you mentally?

I’ve never had my hair this short before. At first, I was worried that I would look and feel like a boy. Now, in all honesty, I sometimes feel frumpy rocking a ‘fro without the accessories and/or clothing to match.

*What are your staple products?

Oyin Handmade Poo Bar (doesn’t dry my hair out), Jojoba oil (absorbs easily into hair), Sauve conditioners for cowashing (green apple and coconut are my fav), water mixed with glycerin to mist daily, Aphogee 3-minute reconstructive conditioner (makes my curls pop), EcoStyler gel (lays down my edges).

*What’s your regimen?

Mist my hair with water twice a day and seal with jojoba oil or a little shea butter or castor oil, etc.

*What’s your favorite hairstyle?

I love wearing my hair in twists because they usually last a full week. My relaxed hair would never hold a curl or anything.

*What are your hair goals?

If my hair grows to be chin length unstretched, I’d be happy. That’s a relatively flattering and feminine length. More importantly, I’d like to master some really cute styles and for my hair to look and feel healthy.

My “best friend” (Asian) told me my hair looked ugly when I first big chopped. I didn’t pay her any mind. She’s always been the rude kind anyway so it was kind of expected. She then followed up with, “Maybe it’s because I’m not used to seeing you with hair so short.”

*What do you love most about your TWA (teeny weeny afro)?

The sense of freedom. I don’t feel like my hair HAS to look a certain way in order to fit in and I also don’t feel like I HAVE to depend on a hairdresser to maintain it.

Pass It On: Creation

The Creator gathered all of Creation and said,
"I want to hide something from the humans until they are ready for it. It is the
realization that they create their own reality."
The eagle said, "Give it to me, I will take it to the moon."
The Creator said, "No. One day they will go there and find it."
The salmon said, "I will bury it on the bottom of the ocean."
"No. They will go there too."
The buffalo said, "I will bury it on the Great Plains."
The Creator said, "They will cut into the skin of the Earth and find it even
there."
Grandmother Mole, who lives in the breast of Mother Earth, and who has no
physical eyes but sees with spiritual eyes, said, "Put it inside of them."
"It is done."


Source:  Unknown (parable)

Friends With Benefits - Cont'd [Wife, Woman, Friend]

Know your worth. Truth.

Winter Hair Care Tips

Fall is among us. No more wash and go's, drier air... it may be time to switch up your hair care regimen!

This video was created when I was transitioning from relaxed to natural. I forgot to mention in it that I always airdry my hair. It's just easier than blowdrying. I seperate my hair into ponytails while it dries and never have to deal with shedding or pouffiness.

Pass It On: Our Deepest Fear

By:  Marianne Williamson (quoted by Nelson Mandela)

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Product Review: Dove Unscented Body Wash

When I started to get interested in natural health, I decided to give castile soap a try and really came to like Dr. Bronner's Liquid Castile Soap, especially the lavender and peppermint scents. It lathered well, smelled AMAZING, and didn't dry out my skin. Having sensitive skin, before that, I had tried Dove Beauty Bars on my face and body as well as Ivory soap and Ivory (unscented) body wash. Neither was something to write home about.

Recently, I was scoping out one of my favorite online forums, where *cough* feminine hygiene was the topic of discussion. Several women mentioned that their gynecologists had actually recommended Dove Unscented Body Wash because of its gentleness/PH balance. It is gynecologist approved, although not advertised as such, because it does not irritate certain areas the way many soaps and scented body washes do.

I picked up a bottle at my local supermarket soon after, and realized within 2 uses that my skin was much softer. The softness lasted all day, much like I had used an intensive moisturizer like Euricin lotion or natural shea butter. I also used it on my 5-year-old, who suffers from eczema, and noticed a dramatic improvement in her skin. I was pleasantly surprised and have been using ONLY Dove Unscented Body Wash ever since. Looking to keep your skin soft all winter long? I guarantee you'll love it!

10 Tips to Becoming an AMAZING Woman

They say the key to loving oneself is learning to love God.

The beautiful Shanel Cooper-Sykes speaks.

Natural Inspiration: Shades of Beauty

A slideshow celebrating black hair of different textures.

Pass It On: Love Defined

1 Corinthians 13 (New International Version)

 1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Henna for Hair - The Basics

Natural henna powder has many benefits. When used correctly, it acts as a protein treatment, adds shine, softness, and leaves a shimmering reddish tint behind.

It's also very affordable as it can be found at your local ethnic (South Asian) grocery store for under $5 bucks, "Nupur Henna" being one of the most popular brands. You can mix it with your favourite tea to alter the shade of red it leaves behind, you can add yogurt, honey, or olive oil for extra shine and softnesss...it's versatile. The reddish tint is permanent. It grows out as opposed to washes out.

One just has to make sure they are using pure henna powder without any chemical additives, as the chemicals added to some "color-in-the-box"-type brands may have an adverse effect on dry/damaged or previously colored hair.

Henna indigo is a process that people use when they don't want the reddish tint that comes with using henna alone, especially since it turns gray hairs light copper. They may want to darken their light hair (eg. from medium brown to dark brown) or cover their grays.

For darkening hair, indigo powder can simply be added to henna powder and applied the same way you would normally do your henna treatment - mix the paste, let sit for a few hours, apply, leave in for a few hours, and rinse out.

To effectively cover grays, however , the process is a little more tedious. You mix the henna paste, let it sit for a few hours, apply, leave in for a few hours, rinse, make a paste out of indigo (without letting it sit), apply, leave in for a few more hours, and rinse. It may take a day or so for you to see your final results as the indigo needs time to oxidize.

I've had marvelous results with henna treatments while relaxed and natural. It makes my hair feel stronger as well as makes it super shiny.

 In case you're having trouble getting your hands on henna indigo, "Light Mountain - Color the Gray (black)" can be found online for under $10. Iherb.com is one of the places that sells it. It contains nothing but henna powder and indigo powder, in seperate packages, with easy-to-follow instructions.

Want $5 off your iherb.com purchase? Use my referral code: ENI555 (no minimum required). Shipping is as low as $3 and free if you order over $40.

Quick Meal: Vegetable Fried Rice

I absolutely ADORE YouTuber SuperVeggieDelight. She has over 300 recipe videos and her dishes are exotic as well as simple to prepare.  Check out this tutorial on how to make a delicious vegetable fried rice!

Past It On: Our Mirror

The good you find in others, is in you too. The faults you find in others, are
your faults as well. After all, to recognize something you must know it.

The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well. The beauty
you see around you, is your beauty. The world around you is a reflection, a
mirror showing you the person you are.

To change your world, you must change yourself. To blame and complain will only
make matters worse. Whatever you care about, is your responsibility. What you
see in others, shows you yourself.

See the best in others, and you will be your best. Give to others, and you give
to yourself. Appreciate beauty, and you will be beautiful. Admire creativity,
and you will be creative.

Love, and you will be loved. Seek to understand, and you will be understood.
Listen, and your voice will be heard. Teach, and you will learn.


Source:  Unknown (parable)

Quick Meal: Iron-Rich Stir Fry

Shrimp, tofu, and kale - all iron rich - on top of a bed of noodles.

Directions:

-Boil noodles seperately
-Heat butter and olive oil in a metal skillet over medium heat
-Add chopped tofu (whatever firmnesss you prefer/soft used here) to the skillet and heat for approx. 5 minutes. Add a little water when the olive and butter dry down
-Add a tablespoon of ground ginger, 2-3 tablespoons of hoisin sauce, 1/2 a tablespoon of garlic powder and a sprinkle of salt to skillet. Stir.
-Add a handful of chopped kale, at which point, the liquid will begin to dry down quickly. Add shrimp then noodles. Stir.
-Once shrimp are fully cooked, remove from heat.

Total cooking time:  10 minutes



Natural Inspiration: World's Largest 'Fro

Self-confidence and a head full of lusciousness. How gorgeous is she?

5 Must Haves for Natural Hair

1. Water. Plain ol’ water in a spray bottle. Tap is fine, distilled/boiled is better. You’d be surprised at how well a daily spritz of water can maintain your moisture balance.

2. Moisture Milk. (cheapie conditioner). These are the $1 or $2 conditioners you see all over the place – Sauve, Vo5, Aussie Moist, Herbal Essence Hello Hydration). They’re low in silicones so they won’t leave behind residue/build up. A lot of people use these as an alternative to shampoo and/or supplement their hair care regimen/add extra moisture. I add a few squeezes to my water bottle for spritzing and sometimes add a few squeezes to my deep conditioner as filler. My favourites are Sauve Green Apple, Sauve Coconut, and Herbal Essence Hello Hydration. They seem to be the richest.

3. Wide toothed comb. This is my tool of choice for whenever I comb my hair. Very rarely do I use a brush (Denman/Tangle Teezer/whatever). I believe in minimizing undue shedding/breakage, which can come with smaller toothed combs. I will only comb my hair when wet. The easiest way for me to detangle is in the shower, under the streaming showerhead while rinsing out my conditioner.

4. Large elastics. Great to use as headbands, for making puffs, or for sectioning hair while styling or detangling. Sometimes they break, get lost, or eventually wear down. I say go to your local dollar store and stock up!

5. Gel. Yes, I said it. Some people don’t like the feel of it but it makes a tremendous difference in how groomed your hair looks, depending on the look you’re going for. It tames “fly aways” around the hairline and makes twists/coils hold together tighter as well as last longer. My favourite is (clear) EcoStyler. It has tremendous hold and is very inexpensive. You can find a small jar at your local beauty shop for about 3 bucks!

Optional:  A silk or satin scarf, bonnet, or pillow case. This helps to keep your hair from drying out  (cotton absorbs moisture) and/or breaking due to friction/rubbing as you sleep.

Friends With Benefits - Her Perspective

The term "friends with benefits" is nothing new. It was around back when I was in college, which was at least 10 years ago. Personally, I've been in situations where a guy I've been hanging out with will say they want to take things to the next level - meaning sex, OR be more than just friends - meaning sex. I never got my hipsters in a bunch over it. If I was not interested in that person physically, I would just tell them that I only thought of them as a friend and they either respected that or dropped off the face of the Earth.

About 3 years ago, one of my closest male friends propositioned me. He said to me, "I'm single, you're single. What do you think about us hooking up?" In my head I was like, "What the hell for? I do not like you like that!" but I told him politely that I didn't think about him in that way and I couldn't see myself doing anything physical with him. He was really cool about it. He was worried that he may have offended me with his abrupt proposition but I assured him that we were still cool. The friendship picked up right where it left off. I put that night out of my mind and there was no awkwardness between us.

Flash forward 3 years... Said friend and I are hanging out one evening, and he goes, "Are you seeing anyone? Let me ask you another question... do you find me attractive?" Caught off guard, I zoned out for a bit, only to hear him end with, "Would it be okay if I kissed you?"

In my head, I was like, "Seriously? Again?" but the curious side of me wanted to see what it would feel like so we kissed for all of 3 seconds and it was... nice. I thought, "Cool. It wasn't like kissing my brother (ewww), I don't feel uncomfortable around him, nothing negative came of it."

Then things got a little messy...

He basically wanted to pick up where we left off that night and take things further.  I entertained the thought at first. Then I had my wake-up call.

I thought to myself, "Gee, this guy has never really spent a dime on me, has never romanced me with his poetry, has never approached me on a "I think highly of you, you're girlfriend material" tip. In actuality, he's meeting girls online all the time as well as flirting with them on Facebook. He is looking for someone dateable and he does not see me as dateable. Should I feel flattered that he wants to sleep with me? Hell no!"  I could not understand how someone who loved me as a person and was physically attracted to me would not see me in a romantic light. All he wanted from me was sex. It was a blow to my self-esteem.

As the woman, the one who holds the cookie, why not save it for someone you're actually dating, give it to someone who's actually interested in you - in a situation where it could lead to something more - a long-term relationship, a commitment... marriage?

If you’re not looking for a commitment (and at age 30, I am), why not save it for someone you're madly attracted to as opposed to settling for someone who you originally put in the "friend zone" for a reason?

It’s as though we constantly have to assess our self-worth and behave accordingly… making no exceptions.

The friends with benefits thing works best when the arrangement is convenient for both parties and both parties are able to seperate sex from love and therefore not catch feelings. What's convenient isn't always what's best for us though. Food for thought.

Permanant Hair Removal for Dark Skin

What is electrolysis?

An electric current is applied with a very fine needle-shaped electrode, or metal probe into each hair follicle to destroy the root. There are three types of electrolysis: galvanic, thermolysis and blend.

• Galvanic electrolysis uses a chemical reaction to destroy the hair follicle. It is very effective but slow
• Shortwave diathermy (radio frequency) destroys the hair quickly by means of heat but is not as effective as galvanic electrolysis
• Blend - a combination of both methods

The blend method is most commonly used.

Electrolysis vs. Laser...

Electrolysis is the preferred method of permanent hair removal over laser (for dark-skinned individuals especially) for two major reasons. First, it's permanent. Hair grows in different stages: growing, resting and shedding. Because all of the hair isn't on the same stage at any given time, multiple sessions are needed to target the hair in the growth phase for electrolysis hair removal to be most effective.

Many people who have undergone laser hair removal can attest that the hair eventually grows back (it can take months or years). If laser is their method of choice, they simply go back and get more done when this happens. It happens because a hair follicle that's not killed while in its growing cycle will grow back. Electrolysis can be a tedious process, often requiring dozens of treatments as opposed to a handful. Over the span of many months each hair follicle is killed in various stages of growth until it's apparent that all have been permanently killed (during the growing stage) and will not grow back. Second, with electrolysis there is less tendancy to scar. Laser has the tendency to leave behind marks (hyperpigmentation, darkening, OR hypopigmentation, lightening) depending on the person who performs the procedure. A laser is meant to burn - the follicles and the skin they stem from. There's no getting around this. Some skin reacts better than other with minimal side effects/scarring. Since dark-skinned women are inherently prone to hyperpigmentation, an esthetician or dermatologist will usually recommend electrolysis over laser, especially when it comes to the facial area.

A few quick tips for those interested in electrolysis:

1. It requires a serious investment of time and money. A small area like the chin can take about 25 half-an-hour sessions or 13 full hour sessions over the course of a year to complete. At between $50-$80/hour, this will run you between $650-$1,000. It's important that you go on a weekly or biweekly basis in the very beginning. You always want to remove hairs as they come up. If you just let it grow, it will likely slow down the whole process. If you start removing the hair from the root on your own (tweezing or waxing) you can expect to be put back at square one as work done on the actual follicle will be lost.

2. You should always go for a consultation first. This will allow you to check out the estethian or dermatolgist, see if they're up to par (fully licensed, use disposible needles, have adequate experience with client testimonials, etc.). You can also ask any questions you may have and receive a patch test to see how your skin responds. Do your research beforehand to know what questions to ask.

3. Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate. It's recommended you exfoliate the area every other day. This will keep the skin conditioned as well as prevent ingrown hairs. Your session will be easier and faster because the electrologist will have a clearer view of the follicles and won't be slowed down by tugging at ingrowns.

4. It's painful for some. Minimize discomfort. If you find it painful, popping a couple of Aspirins half an hour before your session may help.

5. Be patient. It may be a tedious process but it is the most permanent method known to date. Remember the reasons you chose to get it done in the first place. The progress will come. The end result will be well worth it!

Tutorial: Self-Installed Full Weave

This lovely lady explains why and how she installed a full sew-in on her own. The results are salon quality!

So many stylists have clients coming into them for every little thing, including a simple wash and condition, that they feel that everyone is dependent on stylists in general and can't get salon results on their own.

I am not anti-stylist but if you can get decent results on your own, why not save the money?

Foods That Boost the Immune System

Recommendations for foods that boost the immune system vary. The Chinese diet to boost the immune system includes a chicken soup tonic that contains chicken, deng shen, broomrape, and sliced ginger. Prevention magazine recommends beef, sweet potatoes, mushrooms, tea and yogurt. Other experts recommend avoiding beef and eating a diet rich in vegetables like broccoli, cabbage, Brussels sprouts and cauliflower, because of the enzymes they contain. Any or all of these diets could have merit. The primary goal should be overall good nutrition.

There are a number of vitamins, minerals, plant components and herbs that are beneficial to the immune system. Finding specific foods that boost the immune system can be complicated, because certain vitamins work best when taken with other vitamins. For instance, vitamin C, probably the most commonly recommended vitamin for infection resistance, works best when taken with calcium and magnesium. Calcium, among the other vital roles that it plays in the body, helps the cells absorb Vitamin C and other nutrients more efficiently. Magnesium plays the same role and is also essential for proper function of the muscles and nerves. So, an effective diet to boost the immune system must include foods that contain Vitamin C, magnesium and calcium, or a combination of foods that contain these important nutrients.

To further complicate your search for foods that boost the immune system, calcium and magnesium, which are necessary for the proper absorption of Vitamin C, work best when taken with iron, manganese, and Vitamin D. The body cannot absorb calcium, if Vitamin D is not present, which is why milk is fortified with Vitamin D. In addition, a lack of Vitamin A in the diet can lead to frequent infections and Vitamin A works best when taken with zinc, calcium, B-complex, and vitamins C, D and E. You may at this point give up on a diet to boost the immune system and just take a multi-vitamin instead, but not all multi-vitamins are the same. Some do not contain calcium or iron. Some are properly balanced for men, but not for women.

Even if you take a good daily multi-vitamin, it is still important to eat a healthy diet and there are some interesting foods that boost the immune system, according to recent studies. Edible mushrooms, for example, are a valuable source of biologically active compounds called beta glucans and could benefit a diet to boost the immune system. Numerous studies have shown that beta glucans stimulate the immune system, providing protection from colds, influenza and infections, as well as AIDS by inhibiting viral replication. If you prefer not to eat mushrooms, beta glucans are found in numerous plant foods, including oats, barley and yeast.

Crabmeat, lobster, oysters, salmon and tuna are all foods that boost the immune system. Because, they are good sources of calcium, magnesium, manganese, iron and vitamins A, C, D, E and B complex. Dieticians and nutritionists often refer to salmon as a "super food". It not only contains all of the vitamins and minerals necessary to maintain a healthy immune system, but is also rich in Omega-3 fatty acids, which are believed to be beneficial in preventing heart disease, cancer and arthritis. Omega-3 supplementation can improve overall mental function and reduce symptoms of depression. Dietary experts recommend two servings of salmon per week or four servings of tuna, not only to be included in a diet to boost the immune system, but also to provide adequate amounts of omega-3 fatty acids.

Certainly, there is no specific diet to boost the immune system, but eating a well balanced diet will improve immune system function. There are foods that boost the immune system because of the vitamins and minerals that they contain, but of utmost importance is overall good nutrition. The best protection is obtained by eating the right foods in the right combination whenever possible, supplementing with a daily multi-vitamin and possibly a natural immune system enhancer during cold and flu season or whenever you feel you are at risk for infection. To learn more about natural products that can boost the immune system, visit http://www.immune-system-booster-guide.com/



***Patsy Hamilton has more than twenty years experience in health care and currently writes informational articles for the Immune System Booster Guide. Read more at http://www.immune-system-booster-guide.com


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